On Travis Zariwny’s Cabin Fever (2016)

by Kayann Mitchell

 

In a ponderous and uncalled for move the movie that put Eli Roth on the map as one of the Splat Pack (Greg McLean, Darren Lynn Bousman, Alexandre Aja, Neil Marshall, Rob Zombie, Leigh Whannell, James Wan, Robert Rodriguez, and Adam Green) Cabin Fever has been remade for a post The Cabin In The Woods / It Follows generation. And it saddens me to lump this flaming piece turd in with those two superior pieces of genre but here we are.

Because it sucks.

Cabin-Fever-2016
It plays more like “I know who you fucked last summer while you were being over privileged assholes rather than a viral disease” flick. Given the recent outbreaks of Ebola and Ziska the pickings for something groundbreaking and truly terrifying were there, but filmmaker Travis Zariwny instead opts for the exhausting “kids trapped in the woods” tropes.

CABINFEVER2016REVFEAT

The 5 annoying teens head out to the woods to fuck and smoke and do exactly what every teenager in the woods has done since time immemorial. The only bit of originality is squandered on gross-out gags and jokes the deaf wouldn’t laugh at. It got to the point where I actually rooted for everyone to die. Seriously. Every single person in this movie should perish in the most painful of ways. Then I think at least I’d feel something more than roiling contempt for this movie.

Trust me, folks. I’m here to do your horror bidding and take several for the team and watch this dreck! Y’all can head out and watch Deadpool and actually enjoy your movie watching.

Don’t never say I gave you nothin’.

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6 thoughts on “On Travis Zariwny’s Cabin Fever (2016)

  1. boring…. review. you fell in line with the other cattle critics… you are a mad girl.. perhaps you wanted to direct films but can’t because you… well can’t… 🙂

    it was an awesome movie see it for yourself and don’t listen to the never ending sea of self proclaimed internet critics…

    I am like you now… I can write what ever i want on the internet and just walk away…

    • This is your second comment on your own movie on a little site that has little bearing on who sees your film. Get a life, sir. Or rather, make a good movie for once.

      • I know I just keep laughing at it.. i can’t image why you hate the movie so much and wrote such a nasty attack….

        I love coming back here for fun… and I have a sweet life silly… I make movies..

      • That’s nice that you make movies. I’ve shared your comments with a lot of folks. It’s been fun.

        You too. Good luck. I hope your movie making skills improve Mr. Zwariwny.

  2. comment 4 :

    Awwwww don’t be sour G. It’s all for fun.. isn’t it?

    It’s just fun to troll random reviews on the internet I don’t really take any of this serious.

    Honestly, keep up the good work.

    My next movie is The Midnight Man… XD (hope it’s good) With Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elms Street) and Lyn Shea (Insidious)

    I’m going to come back and see what you write about that one… 🙂

    If you review INTRUDER be gentle… I shot that movie in 10 days… O_O

    travis z.

    ps. If you want an interview on CF for your blog let me know… I’ll answer any questions.

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